Written Confessions.

It’s been just over one week and 5 days since the accident and as far as I know they still haven’t done jack shit as far as paperwork. I think (but am not sure) I overheard my grandmother talking yesterday (Sunday) about talking to the guy who hit my car’s mom, which makes me wonder if she opened her big mouth and said who he hit or anything else. I don’t particularly want him to know because I don’t want to see the asshole. Anyway, I’m hoping she didn’t but who knows. In the morning I’ll be calling the sheriff’s department back again to ask them what’s going on, and then maybe calling the asshole’s parole officer. I feel like I’m being nosy, but it’s definitely my business too.It’s weird. When I told The Boy Saturday evening before he left after dropping me off at The Connoisseur’s about the whole anal sex thing, it seemed more like I was confessing to having done something I shouldn’t have. I made my little confession under cover of knowing he’d find it amusing that he’s the only one who can do that to me, and this is just proving the rule, but at the same time, I really felt guilty; I felt like I had shared something with someone else that I shouldn’t have. Needless to say this kind of thing is problematic for me if no one else. Of course I still haven’t bothered to spill my guts as my Yenta and several others are all but begging me to do if not downright ordering, but I honestly don’t know if it’s even worth it to do so. Especially right now when everything is leaving me feeling so defeated and bloody anxious.

I was supposed to have gotten a call back today regarding the place I interviewed at last to say whether or not they hired me or someone else or what. No call. No email. I did get an email from my German teacher though, asking if I was coming back to class. Doesn’t do me a bit of good though as I’ve already missed two weeks and there’s no way I can keep up or catch up on my own. No one in class lives anywhere near me, and I can’t expect him to pick me up every day of class either- and I have no idea how I’d be getting home. Fuck. Not only can I not go anywhere, I can’t go out, I can’t go to class, I can’t go to the gym, I can’t do anything.

The only plus side to this week I can see coming up is that Jackie said she would pick me up if M² was having another party on Halloween. No idea about getting home, but I don’t really care right now. I just want out and I want to spend a lot of time pleasantly inebriated. That’s really my only desire right now, as sad as that is. Hell, I’m not even motivated to continue typing up the old diary entries I had started typing up and adding in here (way, way back 2001) right now. However, if anyone has any ideas they want to throw my way, I’d love to have some CG stuff to work on right now so I can start rebuilding my portfolio. Just pretend you need a logo or something and give me your ideas, and leave me to it. I need a distraction; let work be it.